I’m really getting a kick out of the sudden media interest in the immortal jellyfish conquering our oceans. This isn’t news to scientists — in fact, the paper media folks are citing is something like 7 months old — but here it is on the frontpage of my Google News feed. Strange.
The worldwide jellyfish-threat trouser state was officially raised from “damp” to “brown” last week, as reports emerged of a dreadful new oceanic menace: that of immortal rebirthing ocean-prowler hydrozoan clone swarms, described by top jelly boffins as “silent invaders”.
No worries, though, this riotous article concludes:
In fact the disgusting Turritopsian slime hordes exhibit all the qualities one would expect in a hideous notional composite made up of equal parts jellyfish, vampire, lycanthrope, clone stormtrooper assassin and Dr Who/Dorian Gray/Benjamin Button/etc. Not only that, they are also freeloading hitchhiker degenerates, who have spread to conquer all the oceans of the world by riding undetected in the bilgewater of human shipping.
Fortunately the Turritopsians are only a big as a fingernail when fully grown, so there is presumably some chance that when they finally make their move to wipe out humanity they will all be eaten by frogs or something.