The nearing-four-year-old boy was in the bath tonight, playing with his toys. Among them, a big blue shark and a few much smaller floating animal toys.
The plastic shark, predictably, went after the other animals in the bath — mainly the sea turtle and the dolphin — growling about how he was going to eat them. (Who’s raising this kid, anyway?)
He chased them all the way up the side of the bath, in fact, until they slipped into the soap-holder cavity in the wall just a moment before the sharp and angry jaws of made-in-China inanimate death closed upon them.
The shark paced in the air menacingly, watching the trapped victims.
My son then moved one hand to the turtle and joggled it a bit as he said, in a high and squeeky voice, “What do you want? Use your words.”
“I want to eat you,” said the shark.
“We just want to live in the ocean together,” said the turtle. “To swim and be happy.”
“Okay,” the shark replied. Then he retreated down to the bathwater where he was joined by his once-trapped foes.
“See?” The turtle said, “Now we’re friends.”
See how easy it is, folks? You see, Democrats and Republicans? Just use your words.